


What Could Have Been.

by PocketSizedWolf



Category: Mr. Selfridge (TV)
Genre: F/M, Heart Break, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 20:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2481317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PocketSizedWolf/pseuds/PocketSizedWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quick one-shot into a certain event in Josie and Roger's 12 year affair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Could Have Been.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My Whatsapp Girls](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+Whatsapp+Girls).



Her fingers brushed over the rough cover of her book as she stared at the words, attempting to read. Her mind raced, however, and the words on the pages didn't quite make it into her conscious thought. She was nervous, and after 15 minutes of staring blankly, she snapped the book closed and placed it on the side table. Taking one last glance at the door she quickly blew out the candle by her bed, before shuffling beneath her blankets and placing her head on the pillows.

*

"Josie.. I'm ever so sorry about last night.." Roger took her hands in his, distracting her from the gloves she was busy pairing up. Her eyes flicked from the leather accessories up to his blue hues and she found herself falling in love with him all over again.  
"It's alright.. I understand.."  
"No.. I'll make it up to you, I promise.. I simply had an issue with Hettie's nurse.."  
"Roger, it's fine.." she smiled, biting lightly on her lower lip. If there was one thing she had learned in the three years she had been Roger Grove's mistress, it was that hiding feelings was much easier than dealing with them. "Though I did need to speak with you.."  
"Tonight.. I promise, I shall come tonight."

*

She smoothed out her skirt as she sat down upon the sofa, chewing lightly on the inside of her lip. She was nervous. More nervous than she had been since the day she met him. He entered the room with a smile on his face and handed her a small box.  
"What's this?" she asked, tilting her head  
"Chocolates.. An apology, really.." he smiled "I thought you'd like them.. I'm sorry I ruined our Tuesday night.."  
"You.. you needn't apologise.. But thank you.."  
"You needed to speak to me?"  
"I did.. I'm pregnant, Roger."  
"You're.. what?"

*

"How about William?" Roger asked as he looked up at Josie's flushed face, his fingers resting on the small curve of her abdomen. Tearing his gaze from hers, he pressed a gentle kiss to the growing bump.  
"William reminds me of my father.. I thought we'd settled on Edward?"  
"We had but the new porter we hired last week is called Edward, and I can't say I'm a fan of him.."  
"It might not be a boy.. We've not even considered girls names.."  
"I hope it's a boy.. I've always wanted a son"  
Josie smiled, her fingers reaching out and brushing through Roger's hair. Slowly, he moved from his position to press a gentle kiss on her lips.  
"We've still not talked about how this is going to work.."  
"We'll think of something.. Don't worry about it now. Just enjoy the moments.."

*

She knew something was wrong the moment she stepped onto the bus. The pain was overwhelming and she barely made it into her home before she collapsed to her knees. She didn't need to check to know that she was losing their baby.

*

She didn't find comfort in his arms like she once had. She didn't feel anything. Perhaps it would be brief. Perhaps this was something she would, in time, get over, but she couldn't envision that happening any time soon. She allowed her tears to flow freely as she buried her face into Roger's chest, though his hand gently stroking her back didn't make her feel any better at all. Pulling back, she wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to swallow the sadness that felt as though it was overwhelming her. A quick glance of Roger's face gave little of his inner feelings away. He remained, as ever, fairly together, barely affected. To be expected, she supposed. At least now their little secret would remain a secret.

*

It felt like such a long time ago, now, as she stood in a staff meeting. Her life had come so far in the last 14 years, and she'd had her heart truly shattered by Roger in a way that she still wasn't sure she could ever recover from. She wasn't prepared for him to have that power once more, especially now that she had found Florian, but it was very clear that he still did.  
"Mrs Grove and I have had our fourth baby. A healthy baby boy.. I have a son", he said as proudly as she was sure he felt.  
But for Josie, it was a different story. It was yet another reminder of her failure, and yet another reminder of the things she would never have.


End file.
